nearly unspoken words
by Bunny Soshi
Summary: Lyserg doesn't want to believe that things change. He doesn't want to think that the one he once loved had turned into the one he despised. Oneshot, Yoh x Lyserg, charadeath, a bit OOC


A/N: crap title thought last minute. me no own SK, inspired by Wilde's book im reading for english class. Semi-drabble. Ugh.. first attempt at writing a kiss scene. -gets shot-

nearly unspoken words

It wasn't because of the sudden breeze that blew from nowhere in particular that Lyserg shivered slightly, emerald eyes downcast and thin hands clutching the collar of his jacket. It wasn't because of the darkening skies that tainted black all too quickly, creating a thin mist of doubt in the already-impending senses in the atmosphere; it wasn't because of the downcast shadows leaping about in wretched forms and daunting guises, creating a panicking feeling of worry, or of the nearly empty roads, generating a sense of loss and loneliness along with a longing of missing warmth. No, it wasn't because of any of that, which Lyserg felt the weight of his heart carried with doubt.

He drew the old green-and-brown checked jacket around him, the one he rarely wore as he always sported the white X-laws trench coat. Even when their beloved Jeanne had perished, even when most of the members whom he had become close friends with were exiled. He wore it to hide his innocence, which he desperately wanted back at the moment. He clutched the jacket's collar even tighter, giving the empty pendulum where Morphine usually resided in a glance of reminiscence.

Shaking his head, the celadon-myrtle green haired teenager made his way through the empty streets, those leaping shadows hissing at his movements. Lyserg ignored them, eyes downcast at the soft earthen ground, walking straight. It was not difficult to walk to a source of immense furyoku if one was a shaman with even their senses lost.

"Why are you walking that way, boy?" He stopped at the almost familiar voice, before shaking his head, keeping it down. Of course it wasn't him. They were dead. They were all dead. They had all been murdered...

"Turn back, my Lyserg-kun. Run, turn back, and never return." He was almost positive that it was her after so long, so many years kept apart. His vision began to transform into a daze of blurriness, the translucent hot liquid threatening to flow from his eyes. He knew it wasn't her, it couldn't be her, for Hao had burned her presence away years ago.

"It's for the name of justice, no?" Lyserg broke out into a run. _No_, the voices invaded his head. _Get out. They don't exist anymore. They don't exist anymore! I'm imagining things, they're all dead! Dead!_ He blindly ran forward, eager to remove his presence from what he expected was the lost souls, unfortunates eaten by the Spirit of Fire to never have a spiritual presence. _Hao..._ He didn't want to kill him anymore, he didn't want to after everyone had left. Blind rage.. it was useless. All useless.

"I didn't know you lived in this area, Lyserg." Lyserg stopped, frozen in his tracks like a deer caught in headlights. His panting ceased slowly from the sudden run, eyes still downcast and not daring to look at that person. The person who he was searching for, the person who had made his days completely, who had made him experience true happiness. The person who had betrayed him.

"I.. I.. is that you?" _He has the same voice_ Lyserg noted, eyes still staring at the soft earthen ground, that gleamed with a layer of furyoku. _He still is carefree and loving. But he's a trai..no. He didn't betray anyone. They were lies, all lies. Isn't that true? Hao was behind it.. not him. Not him.._

"That depends on who you mean by 'you.'" A hand touched Lyserg's chin, lifting it up and forcing emerald eyes to meet a deep, dark, chocolate. The tears threatened to fall, as Lyserg pulled away. He took in the image: a replica of Hao. With the exception of the hair length and height, they were practically identical. His claw necklace from Matamune dangled as he withdrew the offending hand.

"Yoh..." Lyserg didn't know what to say. That Yoh was a traitor? That Yoh could have easily seen the truth but didn't? That everyone was suffering in pain instead of living in happiness because of that seemingly impossible dream of the pyromaniac?

"It's Yoh-sama to you." Yoh never sneered, at least, never before at him. Lyserg took in Yoh's appearance; exactly what the rumors had said. No, he refused to listen to the rumors. He refused to believe it. "You do have to learn some respect, Lyserg. In addition, I believe I have asked you a question. You know Hao doesn't enjoy trespassers."

"Why?" Lyserg could only whisper to cover his failing voice. It wasn't true. It wasn't true.

"Why what?" He felt Yoh's presence come closer. He didn't back up, nor did he move as the sensible Lyserg would have done. No, the sensible Lyserg had long been gone. Yoh started smiling almost eerily, a smile that wasn't enough to reach the typical Yoh one, but more than one of Hao's sadistic ones. It was only a few years..wasn't it? He couldn't have changed that much..?

"You promised!" He cried, grabbing Yoh's shoulders as if trying to emphasize the importance of his delayed words. "You promised.. you had a reason for everything. You promised that you would come back to me when "all this is over." Well, the Shaman Tournament was long over, over three years ago! You never came back! You never came.." He stopped, as if recollecting his thoughts, then resumed in a near-emotionless voice that was lacking such a personality it was painful. "I trusted you. I trusted you to eliminate Hao, that's why I watched while you were teleported to the unknown. To think that you had been corrupted to a degree you would actually follow Hao and kill others... tell me it isn't true. Tell me it isn't! Tell me you're the Yoh I know!"

"And who exactly... is this "Yoh that Lyserg knows?" Mmm?" His eyes downcast once again at the brunette's icy tone. It was true. All evidence was there, from his blue starred earrings to the no-longer-innocent sparks in his murky chocolate eyes. From his cold, taunting voice to his swift, demanding actions.

"He was careless at times, maybe clumsy. He was always sporting a smile or a grin, and would make anyone's heart warm up once again. He was a joy to hang around with, and even more so to feel accepted by him. He was a bit childish and ignorant, but good-natured and never broke his promises, even at the cost of his life. He was a charming boy I had grown attached to, one that I treasure with my heart and soul. That is the Yoh I know..no.. that is the Yoh I knew."

"Knew, that is correct." Yoh said slowly. "Times pass. Things change." The brunette looked up at the skies, where the first stars were starting to rise in the drifting cold. "Promises are meant to be broken. People are meant to realize that ignorance and bliss is weakness and stupidity. This is my life now. You can hate me, Lyserg." Lyserg didn't glance up, not for a split second. His gaze was growing more unclear with the flowing tears. It wasn't true. Tell me it isn't true. "But it is true, Lyserg. Hao has made me realize the truth. He is the only one I can trust in this imperfect world with shamans such as you that are only around for our amusement. My, you hated Hao didn't you? I remember you would always be so boisterous, jumping into a fight whenever his name is mentioned. Then I would come over to comfort you didn't I? Yes, but what will you do now that I have turned into your worst enemy?" Lyserg didn't want to believe it. Lyserg couldn't believe it. Denial or not, it wasn't possible. This wasn't the Yoh he.. "will you kill me? Surely you are not foolish enough to do so. You're so weak. I can't believe I made associates with you in the first place."

"Please.." Lyserg clutched the hem of Yoh's flowing white cloak, tainted by the essence of blood. "Please come back. I want the old Yoh back." _I want the Yoh I love. _

A harsh, shrill laugh. So much like Hao's, there was barely a distinguishable difference as Lyserg only clutched the piece of cloth with greater intensity. "Poor Lyserg. He doesn't know where to go. With his friends gone, what ever shall he do? I am Yoh. Yoh-sama. I rule with Hao over our shamanic kingdom and this behavior is intolerable." His eyes narrowed, a hand swiftly grabbing Lyserg, catching the emerald-eyed unaware. "You know the punishment for our interaction, Lyserg." The voice, had it not been menacing, almost had a small lace of remorse. Almost. "And yet you came here in attempts to know that the Yoh you knew was still there."

"Please..bring him back.. that is my dea-" Lyserg didn't get to finish his sentence before he felt warm arms wrap around his lithe figure and moist lips capturing his own. The taste of a creamy orange reminded him of what was before, of what had passed. _What am I doing? I.. shouldn't. This isn't him anymore. He isn't here anymore. This is.._ his incomplete trail of thoughts vanished as he felt Yoh's tongue begging for entrance, completely in an embrace with the forbidden warmth. Lyserg blindly complied, his own tongue greedily exploring the long-missed pleasures, before surrendering to the tender passions.

Captured within the comfort, he didn't notice the sharp pain in his back before it was too late. Yoh was still kissing the slightly younger boy, even as Lyserg's reactions slowly withdrew, his arms dangling limp at his sides. The kiss broke as he collapsed, in a pool of his own blood leaking profusely from his back.

"I'm sorry," Yoh's voice was soft, barely heard in the increasing wind, turning from the deceased body of his friend. "Spirit of Fire.."

He didn't look back when Hao's spirit came in question to his call. He didn't have the heart to do so. "Burn."

He heard the roar of his brother's spirit and the ignition of fire. Yoh kept walking forward, to where exactly he did not know. He slowly reached his fingers to his lips, the burning sensation still there. It wasn't quiet the same with Hao, it wasn't quite the same with Anna. This one was special, this one deserved to be omitted from the cruel world that he had participated in creating.

"I'm sorry," a whisper, drifting with the wind a diminishing into soft nothingness. Strawberry. The lingering taste of strawberry on his lips. He stood still, as if time had become still in the oncoming winter frost. His smile of lingering sadness disappeared, replaced by the facade he placed on for his brother. Going home with such an expression would definitely make Hao questionable. Shaking his head, with that now-trademark smirk on his face, walking swiftly in the direction of their furyoku-built castle-like housing.

The night was falling quickly, as more stars gleamed through the skies. The birds had ceased their chirping, as if a moment had to be passed for the nightingales to start their captivating song. The trees swayed with the soft wind that twisted and turned, as if wanting to be heard, but heard at a price. As if there was a goal that could never be contained. As if reaching out for something all too far away. As if carrying those nearly unspoken words, "I'm sorry Lyserg. I still love you."


End file.
